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Humor
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Written by Niki Shrode
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Monday, 05 September 2005 |
Labor Day Update: Echo Boomers Now One Third Of the U.S. Population, Why Are They Bored? . . . Kindergartners Go A Full Day, How Long Till Boarding School Kindergarten Keeps Kids 9 Months A Year - Developing . . . DVD Fornat Wars Include Invasive Copy Protection Schemes, Will Your Movie Tell On You? . . . More News Fit For Lint as it develops . . .  
THE SHRODE REPORT Get the News before it gets you!
Onesided News and Biased Information from Earth
©2005 by Niki David Shrode
A Nut Road Studio Production.
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Fiction
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Contributed by Alexander Phillips
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Monday, 05 September 2005 |
Wilbur Confronts Gregor's Creator
By Alexander Phillips © 2005
(Click to jump to parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 or 8)
At once Wilbur drove with Gregor to Samson Crison’s house. As Wilbur sped up the winding country road into the damp forests, Gregor became nauseous. At the ‘Cri on’ mailbox, in the premature dark of a forest floor, they bounced down the dirt drive, lights off. Turning the car around in front of the dilapidated house, for a quick getaway, Wilbur killed the engine and hopped out. Gregor followed. They walked to the front door, on which Wilbur knocked, while Gregor stood back, alert. No one answered. Wilbur walked around the back of the small house. Gregor nervously covered their rear in the gathering night.
They found a series of pens, within which Wilbur could just make out by light from the house and a shed some donkeys, dogs, and monkeys. The animals rustled silently at their arrival, crying out in anguished. A door creaked and a flood of light emitted from the shed behind the pens. A backlit man emerged, wearing a long garment — a white lab coat, snapping off sterile plastic gloves. When he turned slightly, Wilbur saw that it was Samson Crison.
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Fiction
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Contributed by Alexander Phillips
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Saturday, 03 September 2005 |
The Dog Starts Writing
By Alexander Phillips © 2005
(Click to jump to parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 or 7)
Wilbur sat at a computer in his study, researching the latest scientific research on cross-species stem cell research. The Shanghai Second Medical University had fused human cells with rabbit eggs. The Mayo Clinic in Minnesota had created a pig through which human blood flowed. Human stem cells had been implanted in adult monkey brains. At Stanford University a mouse had been born with a 100% human brain. These were chimeras, a hybrid of human and animal. There was widespread fear and horror of them, especially those, like monkeys, which might exhibit human traits. But promising therapeutic methods pressed scientists forward. Already symptoms of Parkinson’s disease had been reduced in humans by replacing lost brain tissue with human fetal stem cells. Ethical controversy delayed and restricted much of the research. Wilbur figured that Samson Crison had accelerated his discoveries by working in a secret, outside of all strictures.
Gregor padded slowly into Wilbur’s study. The dog’s skin hung at his sides, as with mature St. Bernards. He stood next to a plastic carpet, a toy which had a piano keyboard fabricated into the vinyl, a whole chromatic chord at jumbo size, intended for human feet. Gregor pressed a paw on the first key, sounding an A note from small speakers attached to the electronic toy. Also, the letter ‘a’ appeared on a monitor on the floor. Wilbur had modified this musical toy in order to allow Gregor to write easily. Gregor glanced at the monitor and continued typing. With musical accompaniment, he wrote, ‘am i dog’.
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Latest News
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Written by Niki Shrode
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Friday, 02 September 2005 |
Ban The Ice Cream Truck Music Cry The Grumpy Wine Tasters In Napa.
THE SHRODE REPORT
Get the News before it gets you!
Onesided News and Biased Information from Earth
©2005 by Niki David Shrode
A Nut Road Studio Production
Ding - Dong - A lin- ling!
Forget The Grinch, The Wine Tasters Are Out To Ruin Summer For Kids. The Shrode Report has learned that the wine tasting grumps in Napa want the city to ban the familiar music played by ice cream trucks to attract the kids as the trucks roam the neighborhoods. Who won the argument before the city councel? What's the City Manager going to do? Why is This Ice Cream Truck for sale? More inside ... |
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Fiction
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Contributed by Alexander Phillips
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Thursday, 01 September 2005 |
The Dog's Maker Shows Up
By Alexander Phillips © 2005
(Click to jump to parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 or 6)
“Hello?”
Wilbur had opened his front door to the sepulcher Crison, who had sold them Gregor.
“I was wondering,” said Crison in an oily undertaker’s tone, “how your uh dog was?”
“Fine,” said Wilbur.
“I uh was uh in the neighborhood and I uh heard that uh your uhhhh dog does some amazing uhhh tricks.”
The strain of politeness was causing Crison to sweat, but Wilbur did not make the visitor’s position any easier. “What do you want?”
“Might I uh see the dog?”
Wilbur had been thinking about this meeting for some time. “If you tell me something.”
“Uh, what?”
“How did you manipulate his embryo?”
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Latest News
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Written by Niki Shrode
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Thursday, 01 September 2005 |
The Big Picture Takes Up 2.6 Gigabytes in the Big Camera - Are You Likely To Be In One Of The Pictures? Could everyone see what you've been up to?
 THE SHRODE REPORT
Get the News before it gets you!
Onesided News and Biased Information from Earth
©2005 by Niki David Shrode
A Nut Road Studio Production
Artist Clifford Ross attracts NASA's attention with his Big Picture Camera
(Photo CBS)
Big picture, little details: In a picture taken from two miles away you can see if a horse is chewing oats or not. Can you use it to spy on your neighbors? Your wife? Someone else's wife? What about detailed photos of satellites so minute that even a Radio Shack aficionado could learn to build one from solder and old beer cans? Are you in the sights? Is someone taking pictures of you doing what you're not supposed to be doing? Find out inside.
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Latest News
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Written by Niki Shrode
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Wednesday, 31 August 2005 |
Who's Winning The Fashion Fight?
THE SHRODE REPORT
Get the News before it gets you!
Onesided News and Biased Information from Earth
©2005 by Niki David Shrode
A Nut Road Studio Production
Fashion From: Liana's Journal - Paper Dolls http://joechip.net/liana/archives/cat_paperdolls.htmlTeens and Tween girls just wannabe noticed in their new back-to-school getups. Parents, guardians, big brothers and a whole range of prudes seem to want the teenage girls to dress like pilgrims or other law abiding citizens. Marketers talk of KGOY, kids getting older, younger. Who's winning and why . . . |
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Technology
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Written by Grayfred Gray
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Wednesday, 31 August 2005 |
David Sallisbury reports in an article at Vanderbilt University, "An international team of biomedical engineers has demonstrated for the first time that it is possible to grow healthy new bone reliably in one part of the body and use it to repair damaged bone at a different location."
He says that V. Prasad Shastri, assistant professor of biomedical engineering at Vanderbilt University, who led the effort, said, "We have shown that we can grow predictable volumes of bone on demand,.. And we did so by persuading the body to do what it already knows how to do." Namely to grow more bone as it does in healing from injuries to it.
According to Salisbury, "For people with serious bone disease, it may even be possible to grow replacement bone at an early stage and freeze it so it can be used when needed..."
The technical article is "In vivo engineering of organs: The bone bioreactor" published online by the National Academy of Sciences.
Discuss this article on the forums. (0 posts)
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Latest News
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Written by Grayfred Gray
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Wednesday, 31 August 2005 |
In Clinton's last year as President, 2000, the USA's overall poverty rate was 31.1 million people. In 2004 it was 37 million according to an 8/31/05 article by JENNIFER C. KERR of the Associated Press in the Washington Post. That's an increase of 5.9 million people in poverty in 4 years, "up 1.1 million from 2003 _ according to Census Bureau figures released Tuesday."
Kerr reports, "The Census Bureau also said household income remained flat, and that the number of people without health insurance edged up by about 800,000 to 45.8 million people."
To see the figures for any state in the country, see this map.
Discuss this article on the forums. (0 posts)
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Latest News
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Written by Niki Shrode
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Tuesday, 30 August 2005 |
Is Martha Ready To Take It Off?
THE SHRODE REPORT
Get the News before it gets you!
Onesided News and Biased Information from Earth
©2005 by Niki David Shrode
A Nut Road Studio Production
Will She Take It Off To Music?
Martha Stewart has plans to take it off . . . Will she do it in public? Will there be cameras? Where and when will she do it? Is a million dollars at stake when Martha Breaks the bondage? Find out inside . . . |
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Latest News
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Written by Niki Shrode
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Tuesday, 30 August 2005 |
Who's Hurricane Is Bigger?
THE SHRODE REPORT
Get the News before it gets you!
Onesided News and Biased Information from Earth
©2005 by Niki David Shrode
A Nut Road Studio Production.
An Eye For Hurricanes
My Hurricane was bigger than your hurricane! So goes the the conversation in bars, coffee shops and watercooler huddles all over the world. Who's was bigger? Find out inside . . .
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Latest News
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Written by Niki Shrode
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Monday, 29 August 2005 |
MTV Awards Dump Rap and Exalt Rock. THE SHRODE REPORT
Get the News before it gets you!
Onesided News and Biased Information from Earth
©2005 by Niki David Shrode
A Nut Road Studio Production.
'Tsall Green - As Rock, Rocks MTV Boat
RAP and HIP HOP PLay Secomd Fiddle To Rock and Roll: The swan song of RAP may have been MC Hammer's 90's hit "U Can't Touch This". The Killers and Green Day set the toine. The Shrode Report thinks it's about time.
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